When we were first getting our startup off the group, I had done a ton of learning by reading, listening and watching everything I could find on the internet about startups. Lessons from famous founders, classes put out by VC’s, books on areas where other startups found challenges - I consumed them all.
As I kept learning about the successes of the people at the top of the startup world, one thing seemed to be beaming out to me at full volume:
Every minute you aren’t obsessively working on your startup makes your chance of success even smaller.
You read stories of Zuckerberg coding late into the night and barely sleeping. You watch videos where CEO’s tell stories of working sixteen hour days for months on end to get their product to launch. Worst of all, you see so many startup fans gushing over how amazing it is that those founders were successful because of “the grind”.
So take a wild guess as to how I ran Splyce in our first few years? I was OBSESSED!! I spent every waking moment working on it. I would eat at my desk for virtually every meal, my phone next to my bed was checked many times during the night as my field of vision narrowed down to just a single thing - the company.
In the beginning I felt like this method was working. In my head it was like I was getting more done than ever before. I was crushing the grind, as some might say.
Then, slowly but surely, it became harder and harder to keep up. I’d never before had serious anxiety in my life, yet there was this ever present ball of tightness in my chest. Mistakes were being made that were completely avoidable. To top it all off, no matter how much we accomplished it was never enough for me. My “grind” attitude made me think that we should always be able to grind a little harder to get a little more. We’ll out hustle the other guys and that’s how we’ll win.
To some extent, we did exactly that. We never had the most money or the most connections in the business or the most popular players, but we grew the business well enough to be acquired in 2019. Our hustle, our grind, had gotten us to be a top esports team in the world and a thriving business with over one hundred employees. Sounds great, right?
The unfortunate part of living this all-encompassing lifestyle is the side effects are easy to ignore but devastatingly effective at crushing you from the inside out. Anxiety, fear, depression, frustration, anger - they all find ways to be a part of your daily routine. Physical wellness? No time for that. Family time? Only when they can stop by the office. Taking a step back and dealing with the mental rollercoaster of running a startup? Much easier to pretend it isn’t happening and drown your emotions with whatever is handy. There’s a word for this type of mentality - addiction.
Now I’m definitely not here to tell you that you shouldn’t find passions to be obsessive about. I feel that way about a lot of things - the environment, theatre, ballet, my family. However, there is a difference between a healthy passion and a severe obsession. A big part of this obsession comes from this identity that we’ve begun to intermingle with our company. Can you think of Steve Jobs and not Apple? Zuck and not Facebook? Mike Morhaime and not Blizzard? Startup founders often BECOME their company. I was “the Splyce guy”, instead of Marty.
So when you tie all of this together, of course it meant I was now tying my self worth into the company itself. The second that started happening, you’re on a fast course of a downward spiral where self and company become indistinguishable from each other. That identity connection to the company feeds your obsession in unhealthy ways and you find yourself making poor choices for either yourself or the company.
Cool Marty, thanks for telling us all the ways we can screw it up like you. I get it. For a change in this newsletter I’m going to try and also offer some practical advice to go with the story of a challenge. Some of this I ignored and regretted, some of it I had to figure out on my own, and much of it I’ve been able to make a part of my daily life (and I’m happier and mentally healthier because of it). I’d love to hear in the comments things that have worked for you so we can share with other readers.
6 Small Changes I Made For The Better:
Took the phone out of the bedroom. This one is a killer for a lot of people, but you wouldn’t believe how much better your mental is for the day if you don’t pickup your phone the second you wake up. I’ve even taken it a step further and have certain things I have to do first before looking at my phone (drink some water, go to the bathroom, walk the dog). That ten minutes alone changes my entire day for the better.
Started really delegating things. Your company is your identity so any threat to it seems more terrifying than in any other aspect of your life. That makes it incredibly hard to trust other people with decisions and execution of important items for your company. The big revelation when I did this? Turns out my company wasn’t going to fall apart the second a single small thing wasn’t done exactly the way I would have done it.
Turned of notifications and let my co-workers know. We are inundated with notifications on our phones that all demand our attention. It makes us feel like we are constantly in an emergency. That’s why I slowly but surely eliminated notifications from email, social media and Slack. This is a hard thing to do because if everything is ok then you feel less important because the ship went on without the navigator with no wrong turns. And if something does go wrong? Well then you assume you would have been able to fix it if you had notifications on. The truth is if something major is happening your co-workers can text or call you (remember when that was the only way to message someone?) You’ll find that they do just great without you when you’re taking time to yourself or family.
EXERCISE!!! This is the one that gets said 10000 times but still is rarely listened to. It’s literal science. You exercise, your brain rewards you with good feelings. I remember being SUPER stressed about something in our company and feeling overwhelmed about what to do next. On occasion it would push me to just go outside right that minute and run a few miles. Not only did I feel better when I was done, many times I did some of my best thinking while exercising. A big part of being an effective leader is finding time to just think things through. Oh and walking phone calls are great for this too - then you can get some exercise in while being productive!
Stop eating like crap. Again, simple science. If you don’t get enough vitamins, protein, etc and just load up on carbs/sugar then you’ll feel like garbage. Imagine how much better your decisions will be when you don’t feel like garbage? The short amount of time you’ll lose each day to prepare a salad or something else remotely healthy will do more good to your ability to run your company than those few precious lost minutes of productivity took away.
Most importantly, be ok taking a little time off for yourself. You wouldn’t believe how powerful it can be to actually take a weekend not touch work. Even just a single day like that. If you inform your co-workers and dip out of touch for 24-72 hours you’ll come back feeling incredibly better physically and mentally and ready to dive in. Fighting burnout is real and it isn’t done by grand sweeping gestures. The best way to fight burnout is to maintain smaller healthy habits over long periods of time.
So that’s the list I’d share to start with. If you can incorporate any of these into your daily life (whether you’re building a company or not) there are rewards to reap in your happiness and mental well-being. And there’s no time to start like the present, right? ;)
You nailed the advice. I do most of these things and I am tremendously better for it. OK, well I have my phone in my bedroom, but its on "bedtime" so not only does it not interrupt me, even if I look at it the screen doesn't show any alerts. And still working on #2, but getting better. If someone wanted advice on where to start, I'd say #4 & #5. You really can't imagine the difference.